You must have heard the saying, “love is not enough” in certain conversations and that line cannot be truer in the context of what we’re discussing today. Sadly, some couples have been swayed by the idealistic storylines romance movies and books have sold to them. In this short piece, I’m going share tips on how Nigerian lovers can build trust in relationships and avoid heartbreaks.
“If I love my partner, every other thing should sort itself out.” You can’t be more wrong with that kind of thinking. It doesn’t work that way in reality. As important as love is, it’s just one of multiple ingredients in a relationship and those who channel their inner chefs from time to time in the kitchen know that one ingredient cannot make a recipe.
Another element that must be present in a relationship is trust and unlike love that’s a feeling, it has to be cultivated and earned. But it’s not a smooth journey because there are certain obstacles you’re going to face on that path.
As you read on, you’ll get valuable insights on these common problems and how you can overcome them in the trust building process.
Things That Can Hinder Building Trust in Relationships
- Past relationship experiences: Virtually everyone can relate to this unless you’re new to the world of dating. A lot of people have been in relationships that were more or less nightmares. In most cases, the problem was infidelity and experiencing that in the hands of someone they loved and cared for created a sense of deep distrust. So after leaving these relationships, the hurt still lingers and when they meet someone new, it’s not so easy for them to trust again.
- Long distance: There are so many reasons why Nigerian men prefer not to date women who reside in faraway locations. Think about it. The prolonged absence, the “sweet torture” of hearing your partner’s voice or seeing them on video call but not being physically close to them, and the uncertainty of what they do wherever they are is the perfect breeding ground for distrust.
- Trauma: Some of us have had our fair share of trauma in our lives whether as a child or an adult and not necessarily from a lover. Unlike a relationship experience that diminishes your capacity to trust someone you’re in a relationship with, trauma harms your ability to trust anyone whether you’re emotionally attached to them or not.
- Poor communication: This is a slow but strong poison to any relationship. When you hardly keep in touch with your lover, you’ll both gradually become strangers and of course, you can’t trust someone you’re not familiar with, can you?
How to Build Trust in Relationships
- Honor your words: One of the easiest ways to earn your partner’s trust is by being a man of your word. During the wooing or as we like to say “toasting” phase, Nigerian men can say anything and everything to win a woman over but most times, they back up very little when they get the girl. It shouldn’t be that way. Women love consistency and if you back up your words with actions, her trust is yours.
- Communicate Regularly: If your communication is poor, it’s a sign that your relationship is on life support. To revive the dying embers, take deliberate steps to improve your communication with your partner. Get to know more about each other and share details about even the little things from how you plan to spend the day to how your day went. This is even more important for couples in a long-distance relationship.
- Honesty: As adults, we owe it to ourselves to be upfront with each other and this includes clearly stating our intentions so that there are no mix-ups on what to expect from each other. As a Nigerian man who’s scoping out an attractive babe, you shouldn’t be leading her on and making her fall for you if your intentions are purely sexual. That will just make her distrust the ones coming with good intentions.
- Don’t rush it: In all you do, remember to be patient and know that it takes time to build or earn trust especially when the other party has been betrayed or backstabbed by someone they trusted completely,
These, my Nigerian lovers, are the ways you can earn or regain the trust of your lover. At least, you now know the common reasons trust issues arise and how to deal with them effectively. As you put these into practice, we hope you’ll eventually build a relationship with a healthy level of trust. Until next time!
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