How to Overcome Communication Barriers in Relationships

I may sound like a broken record saying this but good communication is the bread and butter of any healthy relationship out there. Sadly, it isn’t something a lot of our Nigerian brothers can brag of. When it comes to their love story, misunderstandings, unjustified assumptions, and even avoiding difficult conversations are the order of the day.

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Common Communication Barriers Powerful Tips to Overcome Communication Barriers in Your Relationship Final words

Before you know it, there’s a lot of resentment that lasts for years and when that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you guys drift apart and eventually break up.

But your relationship doesn’t have to follow that path. The mere fact that you’re reading this shows you’re willing to put in the work and improve the communication between you and your partner. One thing’s for sure – the payoff is huge. So, it will be my pleasure to show you how you can overcome the communication barriers in your relationship.

Communication Barriers | Charlie Davids

Let’s start with the problems.

Common Communication Barriers

Emotional walls: when someone has been badly hurt in the past, they tend to put up defences that discourages emotional intimacy with their current partner. For example, you may notice that they shut down or change the subject anytime their partner tries to discuss deeper feelings or relationship issues. In trying to protect themselves from committing more and giving in to their emotions, they close you off and put the relationship in harm’s way.
Different communication styles: a relationship involves two individuals with different backgrounds and personalities. Some people are blunt and to-the-point, while others beat around the bush. When communication styles clash, it often breeds misunderstandings. Like when one partner says “We should go out more” and the other hears “You’re boring and I’m sick of staying in.” While they’re both saying the same thing, their approach on what they should do is very different. If you use the latter approach, you’re very likely to offend your partner especially if they don’t understand how you communicate. It’s easy for them to interpret it as labelling them as a boring person.
Fear of vulnerability: being truly open and honest leaves you kinda naked. Someone afraid of getting hurt may hold back from sharing their real thoughts and feelings, killing emotional intimacy. “No, I’m fine, everything’s fine” when clearly something is bothering them.
Assumptions instead of asking: when you make assumptions about what a partner thinks, feels, or means by something, it can make you completely miss their point. For instance, you called your partner’s line a couple of times and got no response and when you finally talked to them, you just assumed that they were ignoring you instead of asking why they didn’t pick.
Distractions and not listening: in our busy, tech-obsessed lives, it’s easy to look engaged while secretly zoning out or checking phones during conversations. Then you wonder why you two always misunderstand each other!

Communication Barriers | Charlie Davids

Now, let me show you how you communicate effectively with your partner:

Powerful Tips to Overcome Communication Barriers in Your Relationship

Engage in active listening: it’s one thing to hear what your partner is saying and it’s another thing to actively listen. To understand your partner, give them your full attention, avoid interrupting them, maintain eye contact, and summarise what they said when they’re done. This will show you’ve been paying attention and they will appreciate you for it. There will also be less misunderstandings.
Use ‘I’ statements very often: subtle differences in how you frame your sentences can make all the difference in how they sound. In this context, we’re referring to personalising statements so that they don’t come off as accusatory. For example, instead of saying ‘you ignored my calls,’ you should say ‘I thought you ignored my calls when you weren’t picking.’ Trust me, ‘I’ statements work like magic in improving interpersonal communication.
Choose the right time and place: it’s important to be sensitive with our partners and know the right time or place to do certain things. If there’s a misunderstanding you want to hash out with your significant other and you’re outside, the best thing is to wait till you’re both indoors. As for timing, you may want to hold off on expressing a certain displeasure or grievance if your partner is busy with work or in a bad mood. When you try to have certain conversations and you’re spot-on with the time and place, it will become far easier than you thought.
Know when to stop: if you’re in a heated argument with your partner, you should know when to stop to avoid saying things you can’t take back or doing things you’ll regret.

Final words

These tips are not some magic pills that will revive the communication level in your relationship overnight but as they say, practice makes perfect. When you implement them, with time, you’ll get your love story on track and I’ll be here to thank for that. Until next time!